Teenage Wasteland...

Tonight I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of this school year. It truly will be the end of an era - i will be leaving school forever. Leaving new friends, leaving very old friends and leaving people who never really accepted me for who I am. But over the past 7 years or more, these people have become my family. I’ve smiled with them in times of happiness, cried with them in times of grief and laughed with them in times of madness. I’ve probably spent more time with these people then my parents, yet we will all be going our separate ways, taking different paths and following different dreams. I may never see some of them ever again. Weird. 

If there is one thing I’ve learnt during the past 7 years, its this;

There is no perfect human being. You may never feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. But you’ve got to take a good look in the mirror. Learn who you are. Accept it. And love yourself. Because if you don’t love you, you’ll never give anybody else the chance to either…

Tears are the summer showers to the soul...

Sometimes, you just need to cry.

Today has been one of those days.

"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again."
~Alex Tan.

Time flies when you're having fun...

November 1st! Whoop!

I've been looking forward to this month for so long, and now, I'm almost sad that its here.

Two of my best friends, Beth and Rach, are taking me to see Ruthie Henshall in concert in 13 days time. I am so freakin' excited!!!! Ruthie has been an inspiration to me since i was 11 and saw here on the Les Mis TAC DVD that my Mum got me for Christmas. She has such an amazing voice and her stage presence is phenomenal. I was given the tickets in May for my birthday and it seemed so far away, but now its less than two weeks! I also have "Honk!" at the end of the month which is the School Musical in which my year are playing the leads. Ever since year seven I have been in the school shows and each year have got more excited at the prospect of being in Year 13 and being able to audition and maybe even play one of the lead roles. And now its here.

Sometimes, it amazes me how fast time goes. I find myself wishing away the days, the months until something that I'm looking forward to is going to happen. But then, once its here, I never want it to end. It'll sound stupid but, I even panic when the day comes. What if I don't remember the experience properly? What if it doesn't turn out how I want it to? What if it ends to quickly?

I need to try and prevent myself from panicking when these days come and, although I should look forward to special events, I need to stop wishing away the days and months else I'm going to be wishing away my life. I need to enjoy things while they last and when times get hard, remember all the good things that have happened.

"Everything in life is only for now" and therefore, I should enjoy everything while it lasts.

I Will Follow Where You Lead...

I love this show!

It makes me smile, it makes me laugh, it makes me cry and most importantly, it never fails to cheer me up!

And, it has some of the best quotes ever!

"Oi with the poodes already!" <3

I'm going to find the magic...

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
~ Roald Dahl.

Anyone who knows me well will know that I love beautiful quotes like the one above. They make me happy and inspire me and they really do help me get through tough times.

While on work experience I was talking to the DSM about how I love quotes and she told me this one and its since become one of my favourites.

I absolutely love it! It's so true and highlights that we have to look for magic and beauty in this world, because it is there - we just need to find it.

Merrily We Roll Along...

"It's our time, breath it in. Worlds to change and worlds to win. Our turn coming through, me and you man, me and you". "Our Time - Merrily We Roll Along".

In my opinion, this song shows the amazing Mr Sondheim at his best. I love it! <3 It's just so beautiful and for me, represents all the emotions and experiences I am going through at the moment.

I'm in my final year of school at the moment and leave in 6 months. Scary! I have been in education for 15 years and now is the time I have to decide what to do with my life - who I want to be and where I want to go.

Over the past few weeks I have been writing my personal statement and I have to say I'm pretty happy with it! When i first started it, I hated it with a passion. It didn't sound like me! So after a night of panicking I changed the whole thing and now I'm far happier with it. I feel that it shows who I am and expresses all the things that I am passionate about. And that's what I wanted to get from it. I want the people who read it to think "Wow, she's pored her heart out here and we ca see exactly who she is."

The time has come to make some pretty big decisions in my life. Honestly, I don't know if I'm ready to make them yet, but I'm going to embrace all the changes that are coming and take on every opportunity that I can. Because like Mr Sondheim wrote;

"It's our heads on the block,
Give us room and start the clock,
Our dreams coming true,
Me and you man, me and you..."

This is my time, and I plan to make the most of it! xxxx

"The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings."
— J.M. Barrie <3